And lastly, a letter from a member of the local clergy, The Reverend Penelope Wilcock:

Dear Ed,

As you know, I particularly enjoy the experience of working with the Towners team when I have to conduct a funeral.  It occurs to me that people only take the trouble to get in touch, usually, either because they have a specific grumble or a general ‘thank you’.  I expect that, like me, you are always interested in people’s comments and responses, so that you can use them to help you get better at what you do.  Sometimes it’s helpful to know what you’re doing right as well as what you’re doing wrong.  So I thought I’d put down on paper why I like doing funerals with Towners.

1)  I like it that you are kind and imaginative.  I have always noticed that Towners staff are very understanding of bereaved people – who sometimes behave in funny ways!  And I also notice that you take time and trouble to get things right for people.  For example, I remember Judy, when {name} died, going to every length to track down his auntie who was on holiday.  People often remark to me about the time you have spent with them, and the understanding way you have listened to them.

2)  I like it that you get the details right.  The actual funeral feels organised – exactly, not approximately – and you are clear about how you want things done.  Your timing is good.  Also, if any details go wrong, there is never a sense of panic, and you take responsibility for it, and you don’t pass on to me or to the bereaved people any of the logistical problems that can so easily arise(!)

3)  I like Towners’ sense of style.  Recently I took a funeral in a chapel that was all of 50 yards from the funeral director’s office.  I wanted him to walk ahead of the hearse along to the chapel, but no, it was too much trouble, all the traffic etc, etc.  And he wouldn’t give me an hour from the start of the funeral to the start of the committal.  I found myself thinking in a tetchy sort of way, ‘I wish Towners were doing this …’

4)  I also like the feeling I get, that your staff like people.  They are pleasant and friendly, and don’t moan about things or snap at each other.  I come away from one of your funerals feeling that this has been a positive experience.

I have worked with various other funeral services in the area.  There is one funeral director who, though a basically kind and goodhearted chap, is deeply suspicious of human nature, and seems to regard every funeral he takes with a sort of gloomy apprehension.  There is one funeral service where the director is kind and caring, but is not imaginative: his funerals lack that certain something – no panache!  Two funeral services I worked with arrived late, or flustered.  One kept his hearse revving loudly outside through half of the service, and eventually drove off.  One funeral service refused to allow bereaved parents to carry their stillborn baby to chapel in the limousine.  And every time one of these things happened I found myself thinking, ‘I wish this was Towners …’ 

A couple of weeks ago I received confirmation of a funeral and the letter with the details, through the post, 20 minutes before the funeral was due to start.  Tearing it open in haste to check I had everything right just before I left the house, I got a bit of a fright because the letter gave the starting time as 15 minutes earlier than arranged!  Eek!  Thank you that your letters always come in advance – and that there always is a letter.  

Now anyone can make mistakes I know, but in general it is true that Towners look after the whole event in a way which is more relaxed, more thorough, more considerate and more efficient.

And that’s why I enjoy working with you.

With love,

Pen

And one more thing!  Probably because you have several women on the staff I don’t have any of the patronising sexist jokes, comments etc that come from some other firms.  So, thank you.

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